WOW! I can't believe everything that has happened in the past month! I'm not really sure what to think or how to feel about a lot of things. Sometimes I feel like I'm just gonna wake up and everything will be back to normal, but that is not likely to happen (ok so it's impossible!). I'm not even sure where to start. So i'll start at the beginning.
This year has been really tough but Lace and Ash were always there for me and we were great at distracting ourselves from reality:) But I guess I had to wake up and smell the roses eventually. I was finally ok with putting Brian in the past and moving on. I applied to BYU-Idaho because I felt like getting out and experiencing new things might be the only way for me to really start over. I needed options!!! But just when I was accepting the blahness of my life I got an amazing surprise! Four weeks ago out of nowhere a guy in the branch asked me to go on a date. I didn't really know Matts very well but he dated a friend and he seemed like fun and even tho he is 28 he did not apear to be a creeper! He is such an incredible guy and he makes me so happy. I hate that I didn't handle things with my friends very well. I should have balanced things better but I can't change that now. I'll just have to try and move on and hope that someday they will forgive me and know that I never meant to hurt them!
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